Heartache

Heartache.

Tonight I saw a dead person. A 23-year-old girl who hung herself with an extension cord. It rocked me to my core. Over and over that vision has come back into my mind. From that vision so many words scream in my head; hopeless, lost, suffering for eternity, un-reached, too late, separated from God, lost opportunity…

I watched as those around walked over to look at the still hanging body. Some had sad faces, but many looked unfazed. Children peered into the house and then ran away talking excitedly about what they had seen. Death is a way of life. It is just another cold body. And without Christ, that is exactly what you have. Another cold body. There is nothing to look forward to, nothing to console or comfort, simply another person who departed from the earth.

That image keeps replaying in my head. In a way, I hope the immense feelings I got after seeing that total stranger dead stays with me for the rest of my life. What I saw today was not just one person hanging there, but a whole nation hopelessly going to hell unless we tell them about Christ. I hope that image stays with me for a long time. Not in a morbid way, but to push reality into my thinking.

Far too often we think about the lost, but simply stop there. We think, “there are lost people in the world, I hope they find Christ”. But that is not enough. The thought has to move from our heads, to our hearts.

Look at the words of Paul in Romans 9,

¹ I am speaking the truth in Christ—I am not lying; my conscience bears me witness in the Holy Spirit— ²that I have great sorrow and unceasing anguish in my heart. ³For I could wish that I myself were accursed and cut off from Christ for the sake of my brothers, my kinsmen according to the flesh.

Paul had moved from thinking about the lost, to hurting for the lost. “Great sorrow and unceasing anguish” - have you ever felt that for a lost person? Have you ever spent hours on your knees pouring out your broken heart before God, requesting He bring one of His children safely home? Ever spent hours investing in a person, showing them the love of Christ and sharing with them how they can have that same love? Ever walked across the room and shared with a complete stranger the one cure for their fatal disease of sin? Ever witnessed to that relative who everyone else saw as a lost cause, but who’s soul was still searching for the one thing that can truly bring him peace?

Heartache. Tonight I felt genuine heartache. The intense, visible image that I will never forget stirred in me a desire to live my life helping as many as I can end their lives with the hope that 23-year-old girl didn’t have. I pray that God will give me an incurable heartache for the lost. That like Paul, I would have such great sorrow in my heart that I would be willing to change places with those who don’t know Christ.

People of God, pray that God would break your heart for the lost…and then do something about it.

Words.

“Let no unwholesome words come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up....”

“Let no unwholesome words come out of your mouths, but only such...”

“Let no unwholesome words come out…”

My fingers are getting really sore. I have written the same verse 22 times already and still have 18 more to go. At this rate I figure my thumb and index finger are done for, I will probably lose the use of both of them soon.

I had made a fatal mistake. The thoughts in my head were accidentally verbalized.

To my mom.

She basically made me say it. She kept bugging me about cleaning my room, even though the trails I had blazed through it were still perfectly usable.

Her request came at a bad time for me, I was right in the middle of a G.I. Joe war scene. Things were getting intense and it was clearly no time to stop and clean up.

After she asked me, a million thoughts rushed through my little head,

“Who does she think she is? She doesn’t have the right to tell me to do that. Can’t she see I am busy? How dare she ask me to stop what I am doing! This is so annoying! I am not in a good mood right now. WHATEVER! I don’t feel like it, if you want it cleaned do it yourself…”

Oh snap. Those last three were out loud. Please hand over that death certificate, I can sign it myself if you would like.

WORDS.

They wield a great deal of power. The power of life or death. Love or hate. Kindness or rudeness. Forgiveness or bitterness. Acceptance or denial. Encouragement or despair. Wisdom or foolishness.

WORDS.

Ever said the wrong thing at the wrong time? Or the wrong thing at the right time - just when it hurt the most? Ever slammed someone with a “zinger” and immediately regretted it? Ever had to eat your own words after finding out your assumption was false? Ever been “that guy” who made the room go silent with your hurtful comment? Ever trashed someone behind their back?

WORDS.

We’ve all done it - said that stupid thing we wish we could take back.

I am the king of eating my own words. Better yet, if words could be cooked and eaten, I would be the head chef of a five-star restaurant. If you can relate, we could both learn a lesson from the wise words of King Solomon:

“The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things.”

“If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and his shame.”

“Whoever restrains his words has knowledge; and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding.”

Wait. Put your mouth on hold and let your brain catch up. No matter what the situation, give some thought to your answers first. Bring the car to a complete stop, then go through the intersection. Too often we spout out words with no thought to the hurt they will bring. We verbally explode and the damage is enormous and far-reaching. Once words are out there though, they are out there. You can put water back into a kitchen faucet about as easily as you can put words back into your mouth.

So take a lesson from Solomon and ask God to help you process your thoughts before you say them. As believers in Christ we are His chosen representatives here on earth, so let’s give Him a good name through what we say to others.

And NEVER say whatever to your mom. She hates that.